Posts Tagged ‘weight loss’

Damn You, Stupid Elliptical Machine

I toured 2 health facilities in May and decided to go with the one that costs more.  The first place only had 6 bikes and ellipticals and a very small parking lot. Former members told me they quit because they were tired of driving around the parking lot. (In my book, that counts as exercise, so I would have left too.) And, I just didn’t care for the lady who was showing me around. She kept telling me that she was 63 years old…I don’t think that is something to be excited about..

Anywho, I joined Healthplex and I love it there! Since I am a teacher, I have my summers off, and it is like having the whole facility to myself. Well, except for the guy on oxygen and people driving in their Mercedes,  and I imagine they probably don’t have to work or own their own business and can do whatever they want. I had to attend a 1 hour demonstration on the cardio machines and Fitlinx, which logs you in and out  and records your session. I really tried hard to listen, but I didn’t remember a damn thing he told me. I still can’t log on correctly and I don’t want to appear like I have dementia just yet.

My exercise person said I should start on the elliptical. Sounded good to me. I live by the Rails to Trails and often walk, but my feet hurt so badly after a short distance. I think it is because I have no arch and my weight bears down on my poor little feet and I don’t go too far. The elliptical sounded like the right fit for me.

So, I had my little bottle of water, my new Ipod that made me look hip, and I was ready to spend a long time there for my first time. After being on the elliptical for a minute….60 seconds, I thought, “Uh Oh!”  My thighs were already burning. WTH?  I looked over at a very large woman who was going to town on that machine. I forced myself to do 4 minutes and drove home with my head hung low…I am pathetic….Until I googled “elliptical hard” and found a forum full of Vickie’s…

The first week I went to Healthplex, I watched an anorexic looking woman next to me just going crazy on the elliptical. At that time, I was lucky if I could go 6 minutes without my thighs still feeling like they were on fire. When I got off of the elliptical, I looked at her and said, “I hate you.” She cracked up.  I meant it.

It is now July 18 and I am up to 18 minutes. I try to go there 3-4 times a week and I am determined to get to 30 minutes by the time I die, or the end of August, whichever comes sooner. It helps listening to Black Eyed Peas song  “Halfway There” over and over again..(called them Black Eyed Susan’s to someone the other day…hahahaha (ok, not that funny).

The first time I started sweating, I looked around at people like, “Look, I’m sweating.” I wear my sweat with pride, but I can’t stand it.  I really like the elliptical. My thighs are getting tight and the little waves of whatever have disappeared. Now, I just have to quit eating and maybe some weight will come off..Oh,yes, did I mention I have not lost one frickin pound? That’s another vent for another day. In the end, I will conquer the elliptical..I will.

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