I hate when I wake up in the morning and feel absolutely drained. I might as well just stay up all night playing Solitaire or Angry Birds. I was tired. I also remember waking up in the middle of a horrible dream. I was sitting in the backseat of a car when something hit us and the person sitting beside me flew out of the car and the people in the front were, well, dead. I remember cowering and I brought up my legs and put my fists in front of my face.
Well, I woke up right about then. I had broken out in a sweat and my heart was racing. Stupid dreams. I looked at the clock. It was 5:45. Dammit, I had to get up to get ready for work at 6:00. It felt like I didn’t sleep at all. My car wreck dream took a lot out of me, it seems.
Well, um. boy did it. I got up and took my shower. I walked over to my mirror and noticed a mark under my eye. I took a washcloth, thinking I was a dirtball and didn’t wash off my mascara very well, even though I washed my face before I went to bed. It didn’t wipe off. That’s when I noticed it. I had a bruise under my eye.
As I looked closer, I noticed that the left side of my face was slightly swollen. Seriously, what the hell?
I stared at my face. Maybe the swelling was just my imagination. Nope. It was swollen. Puffy face. So, I stood there, perplexed. I had a bruise under my eye and a swollen face. Again, what the hell?
I remembered the dream and how I woke up right when I thought something was getting ready to smash into me. Dear God, did I punch myself in the face? Is it really possible to beat yourself up?
And why couldn’t this have happened when I was still married? I’m sure I had plenty of “I could just kill you” dreams. What fun it would have been to just punch in my sleep.
Then I wondered if I got out of my bed during my dream state. Don’t think I didn’t rush downstairs to take a look at my car. You read about sleep walking and sleep driving all the time. Thank goodness my car didn’t have any dents.
According to emedicinehealth.com, “Patients with REM sleep disorders may act out distinctly altered dreams that are vivid, intense, action-packed, and violent. Dream-enacting behaviors include talking, yelling, punching, kicking, sitting, jumping out of bed, arm flailing, and grabbing.” That would be me. I was diagnosed with the inner ear disorder, Meniere’s Disease, in 2000, and also nystagmus. My eyes like to flit side to side. I must have had nystagmus when I was little as my mom knew in a heartbeat when I was telling a lie. But, apparently, my eyes like to move around a lot. So, at night, I don’t really get any rest, especially when I decide to dream about violent car accidents. What a loon. Seems to me that I could qualify as a patient…..of the REM sleep disorder kind. One disorder at a time, Vickie.
So, if you ever get upset about something and a friend tells you, “Don’t beat yourself up over it,” they don’t mean that literally, ok? Because, in the end, you really can beat the hell out of yourself. I’m proof.
And if you ever dream that you are in a car accident, make sure you fasten your seatbelt, ok? It saved my life.