When Grandpa Falls Asleep

Every parent has a “puke and poop” story about their kids.  You just think that yours tops them all. Well, I don’t think this is the puke story of the century, but it rates.

When my two children were very young, they would head to Grandma’s and Grandpa’s for the evening every once in a while. My husband and I had to go to one of his work parties, so my in-laws told us to bring them on over. We picked them up around ten and back to the house we went. I got the kids ready to go to bed, and all was right with the world. Or so I thought.

I was awakened by Alex crying out for me, “Mommy!”  I ran into her room, turned on the light. “My tummy hurts real bad.”  I sat on her bed, and she sat up and promptly puked all over herself , the comforter, and me. It was black. I was scared because I had never seen black vomit before. I got her up out of bed, and she threw up again. She did the vomit walk all the way to the bathroom. No sooner than I got Alex to the bathroom, I heard Adam yell for me. “Mommy, I threw up!”

I yelled for my husband to help. Why should he get to sleep? He balked at changing dirty diapers and turned green when he saw blood or vomit. He was generally useless, but I needed help. Adam had at least tried to aim for  his wastepaper basket by his bed, but threw up all over the his nice light grey berber carpet. It was black vomit.

Oh, Dear God, they have some terrible virus, I thought. A black virus. Her carpeting was a very light pink and white berber and I knew I had to scrub fast before it really stained. Alex wanted to try to go back to bed, but as soon as she got in the hall, vomited again. She was a vomit walker. I ran and got the wastebasket in her room for her to hold while I took her bedding off and put new sheets on her bed. I should have just picked them both up and put them in the bathtub so they could just puke in an enclosed area.

I told my husband that their forehead didn’t feel warm. I was ready to rush them to the hospital. I’m telling you that the vomit was jet black. I was stunned. Jet propulsion vomit. Vomit splatter. CSI style. My babies probably had a rare, contagious disease I couldn’t pronounce.

Jay just looked at me and said, “They smell like oreo cookies.”

What?  Oreo cookies? That couldn’t be. How could kids vomit so much blackness from just an oreo cookie or two. “Well, that is probably the last thing they ate.” I replied. Then I thought that Grandpa probably gave them a couple cookies late, but that shouldn’t make them vomit, for goodness sake. I was pretty strict with the junk food. I never gave them pop and I limited their cookie eating every day. No, they must have that rare, 5-syllable disease I was thinking of before.

So, my husband started the  questioning. “Adam, did you and Alex eat oreo cookies at Grandpa’s?”

He nodded. “We had oreo cookies and root beer.”

“How many cookies do you think you ate?” my husband asked.

“Like 2 bags.” Adam said and then threw up again. I can’t stress the blackness enough.

I looked at Adam like he had three eyes. “You mean 2 cookies, right?”  And that’s when Alex chirped in. “Grandpa put the bag of Oreo’s on the table and gave us a Root Beer.”

“He let you eat more than 1 or 2?” I asked, my blood pressure slowly rising.

“Grandpa fell asleep in his chair. We ate the first bag. It didn’t have many cookies in it, and we threw it away.  He woke up and Adam told him we were out of Oreo cookies. So, he got us another bag. And poured us some more root beer.” Alex noted in detail.

Adam added, ” So, when he fell asleep again, we ate  the second bag.”  He looked at me like it was no big deal.

“YOU ATE A WHOLE BAG OF OREO COOKIES?…. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”  I was ready to call my in-laws. I didnt’ care that it was 1:00a.m. My kids shared  more than a bag of Oreo cookies and had several cans of Root beer each. I was beyond furious.

“Mommy, it wasn’t Grandpa’s fault. He was sleeping.”   Yeah, that makes it better.

I scrubbed the vomit walk in both bedrooms and the hallway. I changed the sheets on their beds and put blankets on top of their sheets since their comforters were caressed with Oreo upchuck.

Yes, Oreo upchuck. That’s what I called it. Like it was an episode on tv- Oreo Upchuck, brought to you by Tide, when your whites can’t get white enough. When your children spew black Oreos on their pajamas. Let Tide bring the color back to life.

Needless to say, Oreo cookies could not be brought into my home. You couldn’t even say “Oreo cookies”, unless you wanted to see my death stare.

I still hate Oreo cookies. Not too fond of Root Beer either.


15 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Pat Barwick on February 4, 2014 at 11:13 am

    I take care of my mother, who will turn 85 next week. Before Dad passed away last year, I always had Oreo cookies on hand for him as he enjoyed them so much. Over the last few weeks, Mom has inexplicably had some awful episodes of projectile vomiting with black vomit. I figured (hopefully) the blackness was due to her having had an oreo or two, but it kept on, on an irregular basis. Her white comfortor now has a stain from this that nothing could get out, among other things…. I called her doc’s office last Monday, the day before the Atlanta snaowmagetten. The nurse called and said they’d get Mom in to a Gastroenterologist. I haven’t heard back but now I know for SURE it’s the cookies! Last night I decided to have half a bag with milk for supper (because I can, that’s why!). I had the double stuff vanilla, though, not the chocolate. Guess what happened! Yep! Same thing, same symptoms, different color of vomit. My advice if if you must bing on Oreos, be sure it’s the vanilla kind!


  2. Posted by michelleariana on April 21, 2013 at 2:21 am

    I found your blogpost by googling “Oreo cookie vomit”. We are in an almost identical situation tonight 😦 . I guess I should be thankful that I have only one of two that ate the offending cookies and coke. Treats in out house are more along the lines of fruit leather or a small bowl of sugar cereal after dinner. Certainly eats cookies sometimes too, but only one or two! Please tell me that it was over after the one bout of vomit in the night!


  3. can’t comment on your Nov 02 post…


  4. Fortunately, I never had to deal with black-oreo vomit when our girls were little. I must say, you handled it much better than I would have. I would definitely had been on the phone at 1am with my in laws.
    Funny story, thank you for sharing.


    • I couldn’t. My in-laws are fantastic people…lol…My husband had to hear an earful though..lol..but he was more mad than I was. I am sure Adam probably sneaked the bag and is still lying about it, even at age 25. I will have to ask him to tell me the truth now that he is too old for Time-out..lol…maybe….lol


  5. Gross, scary story … I am speechless.

    Does not seem fair that the people that cause issues like this are not around to deal with the aftermath … one of Murphy’s Laws I think.


  6. Posted by TheIdiotSpeaketh on November 1, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    Have to admit, my grandfathers were the same way. They would let me do whatever I wanted, or eat whatever I wanted, as long as I was quiet. Got quite a few upset stomachs from eating ice cream and pepperoni at the same time. 🙂


  7. Lol, I remember once when i was a kid, i had this dog that threw up super black vomit. But that was because he had eaten a ink stick i needed for a school project. Dumb dog.


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