When I was young, my dad loved using idioms. I think he is the one that started them. Really. His favorite was, “All hell broke loose.” I could picture fire and the devil breaking out of a jail somewhere. I’ve loved idioms every since.
I teach fourth grade and every Friday we have “Idiom Friday.” I can’t help it, I have to do it. It’s more for me than for the kids. I write the idiom on the board, we discuss its meaning, and then the students draw the idiom. After they are finished, their pictures go out in the hall for a week, and then are put away in their black writing notebook. At the end of the year they are able to take their idioms home.
Some of the more popular idioms were, “Couch Potato,” “Raining Cats and Dogs”, “You Crack Me Up”, and “My Eyes are Bigger Than My Stomach.” The students have fun and I am always amazed by their creative drawings. Here’s one of mine that I really shouldn’t use. Fun stuff.
But, one day, I was a little slap-happy from a tossing, restless sleep the night before, and thought about the idioms you shouldn’t use in school. I asked my facebook friends on my status one day, “Would ‘Smelling Like a French Whore’ be appropriate for fourth graders?” I was teasing, of course. I don’t want to be fired just yet. So, to amuse myself, I started thinking of others that you really shouldn’t use in fourth grade. I apologize for using curse words, but I didn’t make these up. I think my fourth graders would like these….I think the members of the board of education would too, since I am sure I would be visiting them if I wrote any of these on the board….
Picture these written on a board:
All hell broke loose (in honor of my dad)
Beat his brains out
That’s a load of crap
wearing a shit-eating grin
He’s a chicken shit
kick the bucket
He likes to stir shit
Let’s blow this joint
Beat a dead horse
He’s in deep shit
kill 2 birds with one stone
bite someone’s head off
He’s on my shit list
cold as a witch’s tit
Make your blood boil
break a leg
I was scared shitless
clip someone’s wings
cook somebody’s goose
He will be shitting bricks
kick some ass
pain in the ass
he beat the hell out of him.
smart ass
his ass is on the line
Get your shit together
kiss my ass
talking out of your ass
He has shit for brains
Holy Shit!
The shit hit the fan
Shoot the bull
Beat his brains out
That’s a load of crap
I guess I just may have too much time on my hands. (Normal idiom)
Posted by Beth on January 28, 2012 at 5:22 pm
I just found your blog today, and I can’t stop reading. You’re hilarious. I have to say, though, some of those idioms don’t seem too bad. Maybe I feel that way because my sons first grade teacher told him if he had windows in his basement he would die during a tornado? haha! It’s funny now… years later. It wasn’t so funny back then. Anyways, You seem to be a wonderful, caring teacher and you really breathe life into your blogs. I can easily visualize every story you tell. I love it.
Posted by Jumping in Mud Puddles on January 28, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Aw, Beth, thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I thought of some other idioms that made me laugh, but of course, if I don’t write things down right away, it goes away…lol
Posted by backonmyown on January 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm
If a frog had wings he wouldn’t bump his ass.
Love your list. I used to put proverbs and idioms in Spanish on my tests for extra credit. Students had to figure out the English equivalent. Not an easy task but some students got quite good at it, usually the ones who didn’t need extra credit.
Posted by Jumping in Mud Puddles on January 20, 2012 at 3:34 pm
That would have been fun. My daughter majored in Spanish in college. She is now in grad school at NYU for Tesol and teaching spanish. Hola!
Posted by Elyse on January 20, 2012 at 7:57 am
I once used “Bullshit” to a Spaniard who is probably still trying to figure out why that means, well, bullshit.
Funny post — bet you’re a great teacher. And think of the fun you’ll have when you DO want to get fired!
Posted by Jumping in Mud Puddles on January 20, 2012 at 8:02 am
I can just see the confused look on his face. Our English language is just messed up..lol In a funny way.