Imagine my surprise when I checked my email this morning and found that I won The Prestigious 7X7 Link Award. I didn’t know what it was, but I was excited, as the last thing I won was a jar of jelly. And it was strawberry, so that pretty much sucked. Cristy Carrington Lewis, aka Paltry [...]
Archive for January, 2012
30 Jan
And This Little Piggy….
My family and my best friend’s family took a trip during the summer of 1972 to Acapulco, Mexico. We drove all the way there from Weirton, West Virginia. It was a blast. They were in their Station Wagon and we were in my mom’s boat of a Cadillac. Once we crossed the border into Mexico, [...]
29 Jan
Coloring Inside the Lines
Ramaine, LeeAnn, and I would get together when we were little and color. Coloring was so much fun. We knew never to take our coloring books and crayons to LeeAnn’s house, though. Because of the incident. There we were, at her kitchen table, minding our own business, coloring. All of the houses on the block [...]
28 Jan
Stupid Bluebird Reading Group
Another thing that I hated about attending Sacred Heart of Mary Academy the first three years of my formal education was the fact that we were placed in reading groups. You know, kids aren’t stupid. Well, some of them are. But, as I looked around, I could see a pattern emerging, even though I was just a small [...]
27 Jan
Swamp Constrictors and River Monkeys
Lee Ann wasn’t allowed to get her ears pierced in fifth grade when the rest of us did. I didn’t care if she got them pierced or not, but I was upset for her, because she really wanted them pierced. She told us her dad wouldn’t let her. So, the next time we were at [...]
26 Jan
Here Kid, Play With This
Since I was hyperactive when I was little, my mother thought of ways to simmer me down. She taught me how to play chess when I was in third grade. We played Crazy 8′s, Yahtzee, 500 Rummy, and Gin (for nickels). Yes, she tried to get me to be able to stay on task. So, [...]
25 Jan
Get This Metric System Away From Me
I pride myself on knowing a lot of important information. Sure, some people may think they don’t need to know that the “S” in Ulysses S. Grant stands for Simpson. But, I know it. I also know that ee cummings was the poet who didn’t know how to use capital letters. A lot of people [...]
23 Jan
Science….Blah
My seventh grade Science teacher, Mrs. Caldwell, told us the very first day of junior high that she had a “teacher’s pet.” For those of you who live in a box, a “teacher’s pet” simply is the teacher’s favorite student. Or so I thought. Crazy Ethel Caldwell then proceeded to show us a picture of Ponty, [...]
22 Jan
All Those With a Smallpox Vaccination Scar Raise Your Hand
I was a little bewildered today when I went to Walmart. For one, there was a guy standing in line in front of me and he was only wearing a white t-shirt. It’s cold outside, so I immediately judged him and quietly labeled him a “moron.” Not that I check out every Tom, Dick, and Moron [...]
21 Jan
Oh Dear God, Not the Mercurochrome!
I got banged up a lot when I was little. Not as bad as Willie, though, who sat next to me in class and ate his scabs. I was beginning to think he wrecked his bike on purpose just so he would have something to eat for lunch. And I would sit there and watch [...]
20 Jan
The Arm
There has been so much research done on seatbelt safety. Everyone knows that seatbelts save lives. That’s a fact. I wear my seatbelt religiously. Someone should have told people that in the early sixties. Because I am damn lucky I didn’t have brain damage. I mentioned this in a previous post, but in the early sixties, [...]
19 Jan
Idiom Fridays
When I was young, my dad loved using idioms. I think he is the one that started them. Really. His favorite was, “All hell broke loose.” I could picture fire and the devil breaking out of a jail somewhere. I’ve loved idioms every since. I teach fourth grade and every Friday we have “Idiom Friday.” I [...]
19 Jan
Local on the 8′s
Forced listening. It is all around us. First, it was elevator music. I remember humming, Do You Know the Way to San Jose? for weeks after getting off of an elevator one time. I would rather listen to the grinding noise of the cables, pulling up the precariously hung ancient Otis elevator than some of [...]
18 Jan
A Flask for the Classroom
I am a fourth grade teacher, living in West Virginia. I just looked at my W2 form, and I made a whopping $$,$$$ this past year. I’m too embarrassed to share this sad little figure with you. I just stared at the paper for a long while and then thought……WTF? So, to supplement my meager earnings, I have [...]
17 Jan
The Cake Lady I’m Not
A friend on facebook took a picture of a cake she made for her daughter’s sleepover. She found the picture on pinterest and made her own cake.. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t her design. In my book, she is now the most creative person I know. photo by Crystal Bennington When I was little, [...]
16 Jan
Refrigerator Snobs
When I was little, I couldn’t wait to show my mom the A+ I received on any of my tests. I was proud, because I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. I attended a private school through 3rd. grade, and the nuns at Sacred Heart of Mary Mary Quite Contrary never sent home anything. [...]
15 Jan
Children and Cell Phones
I am sure I am jealous, but I never got to carry around a phone when I was a child. Sure, it would have been a bit clunky, and I wouldn’t be able to go too far because of the cord and all, but it would have been fun. Well, no, wait. No, it wouldn’t. [...]
13 Jan
Step on a Crack
I remember when I was little, walking down the street with my bff, when she looked at me and then said, in a sing-songy way, “Stepped on a crack. Broke your mother’s back.” What?? I did what? And I promptly began to cry. You have to understand that I cried watching episodes of Lassie, so [...]
11 Jan
Something to Crow About
Most mornings on my drive to work, I notice crows out in the middle of the road, pecking at a dead animal. I always yell at them. “Ewww, don’t eat that.” That just really bothers me. I mean, why eat dead, rotting corpses? Who does that? Well, obviously, crows do. What’s worse is that I [...]
10 Jan
That Mink Stole is Alive
When I was little, I guess I told my grandfather I wanted a fur coat. My mom said I was about four years old. Actually, he asked me what I wanted more than anything, and I told him, “a fur coat, Grandpa.” My grandfather was a land developer and strip miner, so he had some money [...]
7 Jan
Jumping Off A Bridge
My mom was pretty lenient about things when I was growing up, but every once in a while, she would put a halt to my social butterfly life. And she always came up with the same lame rebuttal. “But, Mom, all the girls in the neighborhood are going to be at her pajama party!” “I [...]
3 Jan
Bundled Up
I never cared to ski, mainly because I didn’t want to wear a ski suit. Well, okay, that’s not true. I sucked at skiing, but I also felt a little victimized every time I put on ski pants. It took me back to when I was just a small child. It also makes me now [...]
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