My daughter has me on a vegan diet for a week. She has been a vegetarian for almost a year now and lets me know, in detail, how cows are killed in order to put meat on our tables. When we went to the beach last summer, she tried to make me feel bad as I put my napkin around my neck, waiting for my hot plate of crab claws. “Look, Mom, you’re breaking their little legs.” She is a vegetarian because of the health benefits, first and foremost, so I thought that since I was at a standstill with my weight loss goals, that I would oblige her offer to feed me.
I have lost 22 pounds so far. A pound a week. But, then, my body decided that was enough and I haven’t lost a single pound in almost 2 months. I haven’t gained, but I haven’t lost. I think I haven’t been really trying after the initial weight loss. So, I’m willing to give a vegan diet a chance. For a week. I have to admit that my daughter is a very creative cook. So far so good. Until we hit the spinach.
Spinach. I sat there, looking at it. There was no way I was going to eat that seaweed. She cut up tomatoes to add so that it would look?? better. Just looked like evil seaweed had surrounded tomato. And I hate sweet potatoes. But, my sweet daughter is going out of her way to prepare healthy foods for her mom. The least I could do was try it.
Well, the potatoes were good. Not for me, mind you, but for people who aren’t picky and have normal taste buds. I did eat most of it. But, I sat there, staring at that God awful looking spinach. I poked at it, and picked up a couple stringy strands with my fork. I felt like I was nine years old again and I wasn’t going to get to go to my Campfire girls meeting until I finished what was on my plate. What the hell is spinach anyways?
He even had a song about spinach:
”I’m Popeye the sailor man, I’m Popeye the sailor man.
I’m strong to the finich Cause I eats me spinach, I’m Popeye the sailor man.”
Nevermind that he had horrible grammar. Popeye had abnormal arms. He wasn’t handsome. But, yet, if you eat your spinach, you will grow up to be strong like Popeye. I never fell for that when I was seven. Not going to fall for it at 54. Olive Oyl, his anorexic girlfriend, didn’t like spinach. If she ate it, you know damn well she excused herself and went right into the bathroom. Spinach is gross.
So, back to me. I sat there. I looked up at my daughter, and she was smiling at me. She knew damn well this would be a hard pill to swallow. Same thing. I took one bite and wish I had it on film. My face contorted as I reached for my mango juice. Ok, mango juice and spinach mixed, spango juice as I soon named it, is disgusting as well. I was not having any part of this. If she had created a dish called “Spinach ala spinach” or something like that, I would have eaten a bit more. But, it was a can of spinach on a plate, with added seasoning and a few poor tomato pieces that did not look happy.
Ok, I’m picky. I will eat spinach leaves in a salad. I will eat spinach in a dip. And spinach mixed with other things on a pizza is ok too. But, a blob of spinach on a plate is not going to work for me. End of story.
I realize that spinach has a high nutritional value. I’m glad that such an ugly cooked vegetable has something going for it.
I’m not falling for it.