Online-Dating

Years ago, when a guy wanted to ask a girl out, he would call her on a telephone.  There was no such thing as internet dating.  Most people met and married people in their own backyard. Well, not literally in their own backyard, but you understand what I mean. Men out in the west would send away for Mail Order Brides. You never knew what they looked like until they got off the train. Oh my. Nowadays, there is online dating with various sites, such as Match.com, Chemistry.com, and E-Harmony. I joined one of them this past week.  I really don’t know why, but I did.

 Since I can’t keep quiet about anything I do, I told my co-workers. My friend, Shawna, looked at me and said, “You know, Vickie, I’m thinking that you shouldn’t do anything unsupervised. You need supervision.”  So, we spent the rest of our lunch time googling to see who could find the goofiest “real” dating site. I found one for carnival workers.  Someone found one for farmers. Another one for people who like to fish. One for non-smokers. There is a dating site for everyone. So, for those of you who are thinking about joining an online dating service, let me tell you how mine is going so far.

The site I went to offered free registration. You were more than welcome to check out the profiles and see if there is anyone who strikes your fancy. I immediately began seeing some nice looking guys and thought, “Heck, I should join.” I joined for 3 months at $59.00.” They did tell me that it renews automatically, so if you want to cancel, you have to cancel before that date, or you are tied to another minimum period that you signed up for.

 After I signed up, it took me  to my home page so I could work on my profile. My profile sounds a bit stupid, but hey, as Forrest Gump says, “Stupid is as stupid does.” When I finished that, I went back to my homepage to find that I had 8 winks. What the hell? Apparently, people can send winks to you. That supposedly means, “I like what you look like even if your profile sounds stupid.” Or something like that. At the same time, guys started IM’ing me. So, I started talking. Wow, I was feeling pretty. They immediately wanted my phone number or my regular email so we could start talking. Thank goodness I decided not to chat to these guys, because I found out they were mostly spammers. Spammers are guys who start talking to women, and over the course of time start asking for money, etc. I was shocked as to how many women  were scammed out of a lot of money. I went through a whole discussion board full of them. It was sad. And I became very, very suspect of the whole thing.

 I would say that 50% if not more of the profiles I looked at were spammers.  And this is what I picked up on my own. If men, for example, listed their age as 49 and put the range of ages they were interested in was from 30-70, that’s a spammer. On top of that, if they listed that they were a widow, spammer. If they then had poor grammar, it’s a sure sign that he is a spammer. I read on a forum that they steal other people’s profile pictures and snippet’s of other people’s profiles and then lie in wait. It is pretty sad, actually.

 The hardest part of all of this is the real people, who are really hunting for love, seem a little too eager. A guy emailed me and all he wrote was, “I like your profile. I would like to discuss meeting.”  Or, another simply wrote. “Are you free for dinner tomorrow night?” Tomorrow???? That’s like the day after today. I’m not ready for this. Speed dating. People act like they only have a week to live. Do I really want to do this?  I don’t know.

 There are real people out there..

The site I joined lists the profiles of the men who match you 100%. This was a bit frightening at first, because I thought I saw the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, as one of my matches. And Santa Claus. And Wally Cox. (People my age will remember who he was.) But, there were attractive people as well. Not to say that Santa Claus isn’t a hunk. He does have a lot going on for himself when he’s not covered in soot.

You have to write down how many miles you are willing to reach out to a potential match. I put 3,000 miles. I mean, can you really put a mile marker on love?  But, in truth, most people limit the area in which they want to search. Which makes sense. But, didn’t you watch Sleepless in Seattle? They ended up at the top of the Empire State Building. They didn’t let distance separate them. ??????  I want to do that. All women want to do that.

The part of the profile that I was not a fan of was the ole “What kind of body do you have?”  You had to check one of the following for yourself: No answer, Slender, Big and Beautiful, Curvy, About Average, Athletic and Toned, Full-Figured, Heavyset, A Few Extra Pounds, or Stocky. Um, okay. First of all, I don’t understand what the difference is between Big and Beautiful, Full-Figured, and Heavyset. Why can’t someone be Heavy-Set and Beautiful?  Well, I knew I wasn’t slender. Sigh. Why did I complain so much when I only weighed 95 pounds in college? I was 108 at age 37, and that was after I had two kids. And then, what the hell happened? Where did the girl go who drove to her doctor and seriously told him that she thought she had a tape worm because she couldn’t gain weight? How did weight sneak up on me the past 15 years. I guess if you let 3 pounds attack you every year, in 15 years you would be where I was. I say “was” because I just lost 23 pounds. I’m determined to get the rest off  by my 55th birthday in November. That’s when I was going to join the online dating site.  But, noooo, I have to join now and am forced to click, “A Few Extra Pounds.”  Dammit. Already feeling like a loser.

If you decide to join an online dating site, put a profile picture on there that is not more than 2 years old. I have a friend who is on the same dating site and met a woman he had been talking to and she had pictures online of herself from 10-15 years ago. He drove a far distance to meet her too. And there she was, all grandma looking. I personally hate my profile pictures. I just can’t take a good picture. But, I put a few on there because I thought I needed to be truthful and not hide. Some people don’t put pictures on until you ask, “So, what do you look like?” I decided to never ask a person for a picture because how do you answer if there isn’t a physical attraction? “Um, thanks for the picture. Hope you find what you are looking for?” I can’t do that. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone’s feelings. But, yet, I was forced to when a man sent me his picture without me even asking. I just told him that I just started with this online dating thing and was overwhelmed and was going to wait before I met anyone in person. Which is what I’ve decided. I am overwhelmed.

Don’t get me wrong. There are real people out there, and they are just waiting for the right connection. And there are friendships that can be formed.

Anywho…so my advice to singles out there is this…..if you think you are ready for online dating, spend the money and see how things go in a couple of months. You are worth it and in the end, even if you don’t find true love, chances are you will find a good friend or two.

At least you won’t have to send anyone back on a train.