Simulated Piece of History

With the upcoming April wedding of His Royal Highness Prince William and Kate approaching, we are given the remarkable opportunity to own a ring that is similar to the one that Kate is wearing on her finger. It was the same ring that Lady Diana received from Prince Charles many years before. And we are able to wear one on our finger, too. Isn’t this an exciting prospect? The Sterlington Collection is offering to the public, “The Heirloom Ring.”

We have to hurry, though. There is overwhelming demand for this simulated piece of history. Because of  the limited time offer restriction, there is a STRICT  limit of only one per household. That means that Grandma can not get one too.  Sorry, Grandma.  So, I went to their web site, because I was thinking that I would like to be engaged too, without the husband.  Sounds like a great deal. And  I can have this ring for only $19.90. The original price was set to be $119.00. They lowered the price because they want us to share in this rare opportunity. The great thing about this amazing ring is that I will get a certificate of authenticity and the ring comes in a hinged decorative blue velveteen jeweler’s box. Hinged. I can hardly believe this.

For those of you who cannot read, which I guess would be hard to read this about not being able to read, but anywho, there is a British gentlemen who reads the whole page for you, over and over and over again. His voice is quite….British, so it makes me really want to own this ring.

 This limited edition replica of  Diana’s/Kate’s ring is a gorgeous simulated Ceylon sapphire and is surrounded by “scintillating” diamond x4CZ’s and the prong is set in silver plate. This is a very special ring indeed. I imagine CZ stands for cubic zirconia.  So, let me get this straight. I am going to get  a simulated sapphire and simulated diamonds on a ring of silverplate, layered in sterling silver  for $19.90 plus $6.99 shipping and handling. I feel sorry for people in Canada, Guam Puerto Rico, Hawaii, US Virgin Islands and Alaska because they have to add an additional $10.00 to the shipping and handling. But, hey, how many times are we able to own a piece of royal British history?

 If you want to order this magnificent replica, please note that they have heavy telephone call volume at their customer service centers. It may be difficult to get through to their customer representatives and may experience busy signals. Well, my God, I hope I am able to get through at some point. Time is running out! But, wait. They want us to know that if we want to call instead of ordering online, we can call on Thursday or Friday between 9am and 5pm. They will for sure be able to answer the phone then. They won’t be busy at all then.

 Your satisfaction is guaranteed or simply return it and they will refund your purchase price less shipping and handling. Which means you will be out only $6.99. Well, unless you live in those other areas. Canadians, for example, you would be out $16.99. But, really, why would you want to return this impeccable simulated replica?

But, WAIT.  Uh oh…..I found another site that is selling the ring. I’m so confused. The Bradford Exchange is selling “The Royal Inspiration” ring. It is the exact same ring. I guess that is why they call it a replica. Now, this particular ring is “impeccably brilliant” and is crafted from a Diamonesk sapphire. I have never heard of a Diamonesk sapphire. Boy, do I have a lot of research to do before I buy this important piece of history. They have a “striking replica” of the ring and are offering it to the public for only $24.75. Oh, sorry, my bad. It is 4 installments of only $24. 75 for the low price of  $99.00 plus $9.98 shipping and handling. I’m thinking that the reason their shipping and handling is more expensive is because Diamonesks must weigh more. Or they have it in a bigger hinged box of velveteen. Hinged.

Oh, there’s another. “The Princess Ring.”

And another. “The Kate Middleton Ring.” You can get this one for $899.00 on Amazon. If you don’t want to compromise on quality and are looking for a real sapphire, this is the ring for you. Damn. I’m in quite a pickle. Almost simulated, simulated, or real? What to do?

 Back in November, New York Daily News reported  an interview with another manufacturer of  “The Ring.”….. ”Our Web site crashed, phones are ringing like crazy,” said Michael Arnstein, chief executive of the Natural Sapphire Co. “We just hope we can handle the demand.” Dear God, I do too. I will have to head to his web site and see if they are still offering the ring. I imagine they aren’t because of the high demand across the nation. I mean, the world.

I’m getting upset. QVC had the simulated ring for sale in November. Costume jewelry designer Kenneth Jay Lane was hawking his bargain version of the bauble, made in China,  qvc.com for $35.

This has worn me out. I thought there was only one “official” Kate Middleton Heirloom Royal Engagement ring. I have too many choices. And not much time, apparently, because of the high demand.

I just found a site where I can buy a “Royal Ring holder.” It will actually hold the royal ring. Isn’t this fascinating. It is only $12.99.

Well, it looks like I have much more research to do before I make a prudent decision that could affect my whole life. But, wait. Do I really want to wear an engagement ring? Wouldn’t that make future, potential suitors to balk at asking me out to dinner, perhaps, if they see me wearing the official royal heirloom engagement ring?  I would like the chance to go to McDonald’s for dinner sometime.

I have so much to think about. 

Like, why are people actually falling for this stuff?

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