A Late Letter of Apology

   I used to be the butt of some pranks when I was younger. I don’t know if it was because I was skinny or a space cadet, or what.  When I got to high school, it took me a while, but I finally got back at one of my “pranksters.”  Just know that we did things like the following all the time to each other. This is just one post where I was finally at the other side of the joke. And it did feel good. A couple years later, but I felt vindication. Oh, after this prank, I had to endure some more pranks, but this one ranked among my peers. I know, weird. But, it was the 70′s and we were weird.

Dear Debby,

  I know this letter is late, but I would like to apologize for a few pranks I pulled on you in high school. I guess it was pay back from junior high when you pulled my chair out before I sat down and I fell to the floor and all the boys saw my underpants when I landed in my little skirt. Some things you just remember.  Just know that I feel slightly horrible about my foolishness. Well, now that I am thinking about it after all these years, it was pretty funny…….Ok,  nevermind.

                                                                           Sincerely,

                                                                      Vickie Mendenhall

    I really liked Biology class. We had Mr. Ewusiak, and we were always doing neat things. I remember on one occasion, I saved a life. I really did. Gary L. was sitting beside me and we were discussing blood types in class. We were getting ready to prick our finger, and test to see what our blood type was. I pricked mine and squeezed my finger to make the blood come out more. Gary watched me first before he did his own. Well, except that he never got the chance. Gary fainted. On me. He leaned over like a lowered drawbridge right onto me. If I hadn’t been there, he would have hit the floor full weight. So, I guess I saved his life. I’m like a hero.

 Another part of Bology class that I enjoyed was dissecting. I didn’t like the dissecting of poor little dead animals, however, I liked the recycling of the animal parts afterwards. I was up for re-using resources way before it was cool to recycle. I am oh so very green. One day we dissected crayfish. After we were done, I thought hard how to use the crayfish claws.  I had an idea.

 At lunch time, we had the choice to buy a regular lunch or a Super Lunch. I always bought a Super lunch when they had Barf on Biscuit. It was delicious. Debbie S. always bought a Super lunch. I thought I looked anorexic when I was in high school. She was tall and skinny. I was short and skinny. Big difference. Anyways, she sat down with us, as she did every day, and went to get a napkin, because she forgot it….every day. When she sat down, and took a big fork full of her cole slaw, Mr. Crayfish claw was sitting on her fork. Yeah, I kinda hid the crayfish claw in her cole slaw.

 The thing I remember the most is how she just paused with her mouth open, ready to bite into the cole slaw, looking like, “What the hell is on my fork?” Well, of course, I died. The next day I saved the other claw for her mashed potatoes. I thought for sure she would test-drive her food before eating,

Perhaps a dissection dump behind the school

 but there again, was a crayfish claw sitting on her fork. This time she screamed. Which made no sense to me. I did it to her yesterday. What the hell was wrong with her?

 A week later we dissected frogs. I really, really hated dissecting animals. It put a knot in my stomach. So, I had to make light of it. I had an idea.

 When Debby went to her locker, and opened it up, Fred the frog flung from the locker. Since he had been in formaldehyde, his bones were rubbery. I am guessing here, but he was rubbery. So, I  ( I think Ramaine was in on it too…I’m sure of it.) took rubber bands and made it so that when she opened her upper locker, the frog would bounce out at her.

  It did. And hung there like it just went bungee jumping. Up and down, up and down. I had to sit down right in the middle of the hallway to keep from peeing my pants. I couldn’t quit laughing. Debby just looked over at me after she quit screaming, and smiled. “Good one.”

  Dissection lasted a few weeks and besides the crayfish and frog tricks, Debby also found a dried up earthworm as a bookmark one day. I liked that one. But, we moved on and Debby didn’t find any more objects in her food. I started to feel bad again after reading this.

Dear Debby,

    Ok, I changed my mind. I am sorry for ruining your lunch experience. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me. Please find enclosed $3.00 for 2 Super Lunches. I should add interest from 1974, but that is not the point, is it?  Take care and hope to see you at our 40th reunion. Just don’t sit by me.

                                                                     Sincerely,

                                                                   Vickie Mendenhall