I remember when Jack Whittaker won $314 million dollars in the Powerball lottery. He was a good old boy from Hurricane, West Virginia. At the announcement, he was sporting a cowboy hat and his wife said that she wanted to travel and “walk where Jesus walked.” Later on, seems that Old Jack liked to walk into strip clubs. Several years later, his grandaughter was found dead, his wife divorced him, and he blamed people for stealing his money. He carried over $200,000 in cash in his brief case. He had over 400 lawsuits against him. The poor guy is a mess. I wish he would have asked me for my opinion.
I bought a lottery ticket several weeks ago. I don’t gamble. But, every once in a while I will pay the $1 for a Powerball ticket. I used to be lucky when I was quite little. My mom told me the story of “The Gambling Neighbors.”
Seems that our next door neighbors were heavy gamblers. They tried to stay away from the poker table, horse races and machines, because they lost a lot of money, well I guess, because both of them were gamblers, so they made a pact never to gamble anymore and just stayed home. Well, that didn’t last too long, because they had a little neighbor who was learning her numbers and would yell out numbers while playing outside. They used those numbers somehow and won big. Several times. Mom said they bought me a snow suit and toys as a thank you.
Ok, weiner dog racing looks fun
I used to go to the dog races in Wheeling and I really enjoyed myself. We would walk down to the dog area and look at the dogs before we would bet on them. I like the combination of their name and their color. My husband had a unique way to bet on the dogs..He would bet on the one that pooped. Yeah, standing around waiting for a dog to poop was a great way to spend the evening.
Yeah,we were a fun couple.
I have played Bingo and would be the one who had like 3 numbers covered when someone else would yell, “Bingo!” I sat across from an older lady a couple of years ago and she won 4 or 5 times. I told her I was going to dauber her out in the parking lot if she won again. Some people are just lucky. I bet Jack Whittiker thought he was lucky too. He was just stupid and didn’t have a plan.
If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t tell anyone. That’s your first mistake, Jack Whittaker. Hire a lawyer and get it set up as a LLC and have the lawyer claim the powerball in your behalf. I’m so tight with my money, though, I wouldn’t want to pay a lawyer his fee for claiming it. But, I guess if you are a gazillionaire, you would pay the lawyer, I guess.
Secondly, you would have to move. You would. There is no way you could stay in your town, where everyone knows your name and knows where you live. Can you imagine the phone calls and knocks on the door from everyone from financial planners to your brother’s sister-in-laws mother’s cousin’s neighbor’s mailman’s daughter’s boyfriend’s sister’s dance instructor. (I really could have continued). Everyone would know you oh so well. I think I would have to have my phone turned off before I went to claim the powerball. Jack Whittiker stayed where he was and carried large amounts of money around in a briefcase. I don’t know, I think I would have stalked him, and hit him over the head if I lived in that town. Oh, I wouldn’t have gone that far, but if he was so stupid with his money, I probably would have thought of a scheme to get some of it. If I lived in that town, I wouldn’t have had anything else to do but plot and scheme, and carry my binoculars with me in the car. Just sayin. I feel sorry for Jack Whittaker, though. I really do. I think he was and is a good man. Maybe money really is the root of all evil.
But, back to me. I think I would move over to the other side of the country. I shall shut my eyes and pick a place on my atlas. Ok, I have picked Boise, Idaho. Well, I do like potatoes. Ok, Boise it is. So, I would quit my job, because I wouldn’t need to teach children when I will be needing the time to teach myself how to perform all of my new hobbies. I would, of course, give my co-worker friends some money, because I love them and they would just talk about me if I resigned and left town. Besides, they make fun of me now. I can just see if I left town without a word or an envelope full of money for each one of them. Boy would my ears be burning. But, I mean, where does it stop? I wouldn’t give money to the janitor. I don’t even think he knows where my room is, let alone clean it likes he is supposed to. Yeah, I would just quietly hand them envelopes full of money, give them a hug and tell them to come visit me in Boise and I will put them up in my new lodge and will feed them some Idaho potatoes.
Jack Whittaker gave his grand-daughter too much.She was only 14 at the time and 17 when she passed away. I think I could give my kids a lot of the money. I think they would be wise with it, after the initial purchases I think. My son is in his third year of his PHD in Economics, so I know he should know how to manage that amount of money. I wonder if he would finish his dissertation and graduate? He could in a four bedroom home on the lake with his cat, Atticus, having his very own cat room and finish his dissertation in style. I know that they would both travel extensively. I mean, my son and daughter, not my son and his cat. I would bake them some potatoes if they come visit me in Idaho at my new lodge with my no-kill animal shelter named after me, Menden Hall, right down the road.
That’s right, a no-kill animal shelter. I would be a philanthropist. I’m an animal lover and would open a huge no-kill animal shelter. I would also give to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital, mainly because I enjoy our penny war at school so much, and the proceeds are donated to St. Jude’s. But that’s all. And secret like, because you don’t want to open those flood-gates.
Speaking of Gates, I can’t believe that Bill Gates is not planning to give any of his money to his children. That’s stupid, on a lot of levels.. Just thought I would mention that.
In the end, money can’t make you happy. Some people would run out right away for their first purchases… Comcast Super Triple Bundle with HBO and the Fishing Channel, a new Cadillac and a pit bull that wears chains. If I won the lottery, I would be out in Boise, Idaho, where no one knows I have money. I would open a no-kill animal shelter, travel, own a house in the mountains on a lake, one at the beach and one in Canada, because I want to be able to say, “Anywho” and “Dontcha knowl” , and well, because it is a beautiful country.
I would travel to Scotland and buy a few beers for people in a pub and ask them to travel with me to Loch Ness and we will sit at the edge of the lake and yell for Nessie while we are still drinking and maybe someone would play bagpipes for me.
Loch Ness 2012 here I come!
And come home to make me some Boise sweet potato pie. And no one would know that I won the lottery. Well, except for my co-workers who will have the flight money to come visit me.
