The Field Trip

For those of you who are regular readers, you know I suffered and still suffer from extreme motion sickness. My stories about my parents placing a bucket in the backseat of the car for me were plenty. My brother and sister had to freeze while I had the window rolled down just enough so my bony little fingers could feel the cold. That made me feel better for some reason.

As I got older, I had to add “traveling on the school bus” to my car sickness agenda. It was not fun. I got sick on the bus almost every day. I threw up on our bus driver, who was a nun. Well, I didn’t throw up directly on her, I was able to make a direct hit on her sensible shoes while she was shifting gears on the pretend bus van. When I switched to a public school in fourth grade (after debating with a nun why God was a meanie because of the whole Noah’s Ark situation for most of third grade), I got to sit with my best friend, Ramaine.

Ramaine would let people know when I was about to get sick. It happened at least twice a week on the way home. Our bus driver liked the bus to be toasty toasty on his afternoon run for some reason. My gurgling stomach couldn’t stomach the heat and the swaying of the top heavy bus around corners. So, Ramaine would yell out, “Raise your feet!!!”  We had a good system. I would throw up, the bus would be going up or down a hill, and the kids could raise their feet before it got to them. It’s gross, but since I didn’t eat much but had to drink a lot of water because of my dysfunctional kidneys, it was just a liquid venue.

So, as I got older, I couldn’t ride in the back seat. That explains why I didn’t date much, I guess. I couldn’t ride many of the amusement rides at Kennywood Park. I couldn’t float on a raft in a pool. And when I had children, I couldn’t chaperone on any of their field trips…. And that killed me.

Oh, sure, I followed the bus on some of the trips. But, I always wanted to be a chaperone. I wanted to watch how my children interacted with others, and be able to slap the ones who were mean to them. Ok, I would never have done that part. But, I do have a look that is like a slap. So, for many years I was able to avoid traveling on a bus until I got a teaching job.

When you teach, you wear many hats. You are a counselor, a nurse, a principal, a banker, and a field trip coordinator. I had been able to skirt the whole field trip for awhile. This year the class was going to the Pittsburgh Zoo. I love the zoo and decided I would try it. After all, I have taken the bus from JFK airport to Penn Station several times with no issues. I’ve been on Amtrak and have flown several times. I have plans to take a long train ride into the Canadian Rockies this summer. Surely, I can take half of a Dramamine and go on a two hour trip to the zoo. My daughter didn’t think so.

“Mom, you know you are going to get sick. Why are you doing this?”

Yeah, why am I doing this? Well, I think I can handle it for some reason. I don’t think I’m that little scrawny Pukey Vickie anymore. It turns out, I was right. I did great on the bus. I made one fatal (ok not exactly what I would call fatal) mistake, though: I told my class I had to sit in the front and wouldn’t be able to turn around. What the hell is wrong with you, Vickie?

I thought I had it all worked out. I had six chaperones from my class for fourteen students. How easy this would be! With two classes, we were going to have twelve adults on board for 28 students. We loaded the buses with the chaperones scattered throughout. I had previously talked with my class about bus behavior and the fact that they would not be allowed to eat, drink, or chew gum on the way up or the way back. (I was surely not going to perform the Heimlich while the bus was moving. Not gonna happen.) I repeated the rules because that’s just how we are this year. I also told the kids to show respect towards the chaperones and not run away from them.

So, we loaded the bus and after a head count and quick repetition of the rules…once again..we were ready to close the doors. So, we were off. I was prepared in case I got sick. I sat in the front so I could look watch the road. Plus, I took half of a Dramamine.

The rest of the trip up wasn’t too bad. No one got sick, so life was good.

I think the kids had a great time at the zoo. The other fourth grade teacher and I did not put any kids with us. We weren’t about to do that to ourselves. So, after arriving 40 minutes late, we ate, and then began visiting the exhibits. During the day, parents who had driven up behind the bus signed their children out. Four less children would be on the bus on the way home.

I do have to mention that some time during the day, one of my girls ran up to me with a stuffed animal skunk. She bought it for me because my favorite animal is the skunk. I was at a loss of words. I hugged her and knew she spent way too much on me.

So, we loaded the bus for the ride home, which took forever and I had one of my girls sit with me on the way home because she was feeling ill on the bus. Her forehead was quite warm. She slept most of the way home…until she woke up and puked.

Luckily, for me, I know the signs. I was able to grab my zip lock bag out of my bag when she woke up. I had that feeling.  I didn’t have time to get the trash bag out of the zip lock, so I just opened up the zip lock. She managed to get 50% in the bag, and 50% on her pants and all over my hands. The other teacher was handing me paper towels left and right.

When we got out of the bus, the little girls grandmother collected her quickly, and I went into the school to wash my hands.

Some things never change. Well, except this time we didn’t have to raise our feet.

The Time Change and Church

English: The face of a black windup alarm clock (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For those of you who follow my blog, you know tomorrow is my least favorite day of the year. I’ve surely written enough about Daylight Savings Time and how it turns me into a zombie for a few weeks after the time change.

Daylight Savings Time Ends….Again

 Spring Forward into the River

Hello Circadian Dysrhythmia

Go Fly a Kite, Benjamin Franklin

So, how many times can I beat this dead horse? Apparently, at least five times. I guess I just need to really get my opinion out there. Daylight Savings Time just sucks the life out of me…….and millions of other people too.

But, I have to admit, the whole time change did have one perk: church. Now, don’t judge, but I just did not care to attend church when I was younger. My dad was a Sunday school teacher, so we had to get up every Sunday morning and drive downtown to church. And, I’m sorry, but I just didn’t like it. I had a problem with the whole Noah’s Ark story when I went to that private hell of a Catholic school from first through third grade, and was tired of arguing about it with Sister Maria and then at Sunday school. I just didn’t buy it. I was mad at God for drowning animals. Taking only two of a kind was really mean, and when I was little, I held a grudge for a tremendously long time.  So, I just thought the whole church thing was a big ole fat lie to get money in a collection plate.

So, there was one Sunday each year that I didn’t have to go to Sunday school, and that was when it was Daylight Savings Time. Oh, I remember my parents talking while sitting on the couch about how they had to remember to turn the clocks ahead before they went to bed. I always wanted to try to sneak into my parent’s room and change the Big Ben alarm clock my dad kept by his bed, but after getting caught the first time, I decided I was doomed and would have to go listen about multiplying fishes and walking on water. None of the Bible lessons were believable to me. People can’t get that old. I told my mom Caspar the Friendly Ghost cartoon was more real than church. I remember my dad looking at me like I needed an exorcism. His Bible was all marked up and his handwriting in the margins. He was clearly into it, but his  nine year old heathen daughter wasn’t buying any of it.

I know  my dad would change the kitchen clock above our lovely gold refrigerator that Saturday night before he went to bed. He would change the time on his wrist watch. He would change the time on his Big Ben alarm clock and set the alarm to get up for church. But, every Daylight Savings Time Sunday morning we would always miss Sunday school. We slept it! My mom would yell first.

“Elwood, wake up! We’ve missed church!” I would wake up and smile. But, then, my mom would march into my room and ask why I pushed down the alarm clock so it wouldn’t go off.

The problem with all of this is that I was a great liar and lied every chance I got. So, when I really told the truth and tried to explain that I didn’t do it, no one believed me. I would be just like me to sneak into my parent’s room and push in the alarm buzzer thingy.

For years I thought my sister was the culprit because she would laugh at me for getting yelled at for turning it off. She wanted to go to church because she liked wearing her white patent leather shoes. She would deliberately put on a pair of white anklets that had a hole in the big toe so she could entertain while sitting in the pew at church. But, you know, I never ever pushed down the alarm button to keep us from waking up on time. I mean, I wouldn’t wait until Daylight Savings Time to do that. I’d do it every damn Sunday.

Years later, when I had my own children and complained how my husband wanted to go to church the next day when it was Daylight Savings Time, I would always try to balk. “Oh, come on. We are losing an hour. Let’s just sleep in.”  My mom was visiting during one of those time changing moments and just smiled when I was complaining about being blamed for turning off the alarm.

“Mom, I really wasn’t the one who would push in the alarm so we could sleep in after losing an hour.”

“I know.” I looked at her and she was wearing a shit-eating grin on her face.”

“God dammit, Mom! …….You were the one?…….and then you came in and blamed me?” She smiled and nodded.

Well, there was only one thing I could do….

I stood up and clapped.

“I needed that hour,” she said with a shrug.

So, in the end, the heathen’s mother threw her own daughter under the proverbial bus in order to garner a lost hour of sleep once a year.

Well, played, Mom, well played.

Reform This

Map of West Virginia counties (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The governor of West Virginia, Earl Ray Tomlin, introduced Senate Bill 359, an educational reform bill, which will be voted on soon. Teachers have given the bill a big, fat F, which in my opinion has nothing to do with reform.

Reform- to amend or improve by change of form or removal of fault or abuses.

I’m not going to go into each point of the bill, only to say that it is a slap in the face to all educators in the state of West Virginia. You know, teachers in the Mountain state make one of the lowest salaries in the nation. Many teachers head east to work outside the state borders to garner higher wages. But, in the end, teachers are working the best they can, despite the obstacles that are coming directly from the higher ups.

Obstacles, you say? Absolutely. Someone a few years ago had decided teachers need to test more.  I give a beginning Math and Reading test at the beginning of the year. I give Benchmark tests twice a year in four subjects and the students have two online writing tests to get ready for the big one in March. The Westest is held in May. Now, mind you, this is on top of the tests I give weekly in Social Studies, Reading, Spelling, and Science. I also have to give end of the year tests.

I would just rather teach.

I’m 56 years old and I think I received a pretty good education when I was young. We memorized our multiplication tables. We learned our state capitals,  had spelling bees, and wrote and presented book reports. It was all about Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic. We grew up fine. Some of my peers did better than fine.

 Ok, this was before my time….but we had those desks.

But, something along the way changed. Someone has decided that to exist in the 21st century, we must bathe our children in technology or they will surely die.  So, in the elementary setting we are testing, and we are teaching technology….on top of Handwriting, Math, Spelling, Grammar, Reading, Science, Social Studies, and Health. And we are doing this in crowded classrooms.

If you want to reform, let’s first take a  look at teacher/student ratio.

The governor wants to require early childhood education programs to be made available five days a week for the full day; allowing program to be for fewer than five days per week and less than full day under certain circumstances.

I don’t understand this. This is not the reform that we need. Before adding new programs, we need to address the teacher/student ratio in k-2. Class size should be limited to no more than 16 students and the curriculum should be restricted.  Let me explain:

Years ago, there were a lot of two-parent households. A lot of the moms did not work outside the home. Someone was there to make sure students did their homework, and were more hands-on. Now, I’m not saying that a lot of people don’t still do that. Of course they do. But, for the most part, it is fact that the divorce numbers are much higher than they were years ago. Even without divorce, economics force both parents to work. Some single parent households need help. Grandparents are raising many of the children. Many children come from homes where abuse is a way of life. Drug use is more prevalant than it was years ago. Some children go to bed hungry. Yes, I realize that has also happened in the past, but in the end, the classroom is now a home- away- from- home for a lot of children.

I have fifteen students this year in my fourth grade classroom. Last year I had twenty-one. Six less students makes a world of difference.  And those teachers with twenty-five and twenty-six students are overwhelmed. I know my students. I can look at one and know she is not feeling well because I know her so well. I send her to the office to get her temperature taken…101.6. I smile and give her a hug as she leaves to go home. I know not to give much homework because it is an unfair advantage to the several who are lucky to have a piece of notebook paper or pencil at their homes. No one goes through their backpacks at night. No one helps them practice their multiplication table. My mom drilled me nightly when I was in third grade. I knew them when I went to fourth grade. Some students in general just have no clue. Some children have behavioral issues. Some are learning disabled. Some have attention deficit problems. This is not the same mix of students that I went to school with, but yet, nothing has changed in the way of class size.

So, I teach time management skills in the classroom and basically let them do some homework during class time. This only seems fair to those who aren’t lucky enough to have help at home. Sure, in the end, fourth graders can learn to do their homework on their own, but they need guidance and direction..but sadly,  a few are not receiving it at home. They are allowed to sit and kill things while playing their video games. And I know a majority of the boys do this. I ask these things…. Technology at its finest. When I was young we had three channels on tv and the World Book Encyclopedia as our internet. We honestly didn’t have much to do but our homework on school nights.

When you shove many children into a classroom, something is lost. So, let’s begin our educational reform by taking a look at teacher/student ratio. I know you won’t, because that would mean hiring new teachers. It’s bad enough that the governor wants to hire anyone with a bachelor’s degree to enter the classroom.  You are going to be opening a can of worms if this hiring practice is passed, however. It will change the scope of teacher education in this state forever.

I know some of you will not agree with me on this next point, but I think technology is making us stupider. (Yes, I realize that is not a word.)

“The fog of information can drive out knowledge.”

Don’t get me wrong. I think technology in the classroom is great. I use it in some form every day. If we are studying volcanoes, I have a volcano simulator waiting on one of the computers. I have a penguin cam up some days. There are many, many internet sites that are extremely beneficial. That’s not what I am talking about.

The state of West Virginia implemented a program called Tech Steps. All students from kindergarten on must complete about six assignments. In my opinion, this program should not be used in the elementary school setting. Why do elementary school children need a technology component when we should be concentrating on core subjects? If you want our test scores to rise, don’t inundate us with work that can wait until fifth or sixth grade. You are making us waste precious time. Do third graders really need to learn how to use a spreadsheet? Sure, we are in a different world now, where computers and technology are at our every turn. I get it.  I think it has merit in junior high, but not in the early grades where everything depends on them learning the basics so they can go on to the next year and build on that.

In the end, it is not the same as it was. We are forced to test too much when we should be teaching. We are forced to teach more children in our classroom than is beneficial to their educational growth. We are forced to teach technology, when in fact, we should review our multiplication one more time instead of completing yet another techsteps assignment that will have no bearing on other important educational milestones, such as defining words, rounding numbers, and correcting a run-on sentence. K-2 teachers should be teaching a limited curriculum, plain and simple.

There are only so many minutes in a day for an elementary school teacher. We have to teach Spelling, Social Studies, Science, Math, Reading, Grammar, handwriting, and Health. We are also referees, bankers, counselors, and health inspectors.

So, Senate Education committee people, there you have it; the rambling of a fourth grade teacher.  If you truly want an educational reform in West Virginia, start with kindergarten and give those teachers a small class size. We teach with kids squished into our classrooms because that’s the way you want it. We test and test and test to make sure we are testing because that’s what we have to do. We teach technology subjects that the wee ones should not have to be introduced to until an older age. We do all this because you told us to. If something is broken, it’s not with the teachers. It is with the system. Please be careful with every point of our governor’s education reform bill. It needs to be chewed up and digested to see if it sits well with teachers. Take us in consideration instead of pointing fingers at us. Because after all,

 You can lead a student to the test, but you can’t make him pass it.

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Jumping in Mud Puddles: A Memoir of a Picky, Hyper, Big Fat Liar

I Have No Idea

My daughter, who lives in New York City, asked me this morning how much snow we had here in West Virginia. I looked outside, and then texted her back, “I have no idea. You know I am estimate challenged.” And I am. I have no idea if we received two or five inches of snow. I just had no idea.
Since I teach fourth graders, this learning by example is not going to fare well for my poor nine year old students. I can round numbers, which is almost like estimating, but I’m talking about putting shit in a jar and asking how many are in there. I am pitiful. Pit i ful.

You could put three Hershey kisses in a bowl and I would probably guess the wrong number. I’m that bad. I have to think back to all the times I lost the estimation game at parties. And there were many. I never won. Ever.  I remember when I was in high school, staring at a jar of frogs, floating in  formaldehyde, thinking anything in a jar was just wrong.

My dad always played an estimation game with us on our drive out to our grandparent’s house. “Hey, how many people are buried in that cemetery?”  I would smile because I already knew what he was going to say. “All of them!” That’s my kind of estimation contest.

Even as an adult, I sucked at guessing anything.  I went to a bridal party years ago where they had a huge jar filled with clothespins. “Guess how many are in the jar” asked the maid of honor. I wrote, along with my number-

“I don’t give a shit.”  I did add a smiley face…It’s not nice to point and laugh at the lady who guessed 27 when there were 234 clothespins in the jar.   I think we should have guessed how long we thought the marriage would last.

So, am I doing a bad thing by teaching fourth grade Math? We really don’t have to estimate much. I leave it up to the homeroom mothers who love estimation games at the parties. I just watch and listen to see what child may be estimate challenged like me.

Here’s a glittery pompom estimation jar. I’m sure the teacher knows how many things are in a thing.

 

The more I looked online at estimation jars, the more I realized I should be doing more. I too, should hold weekly contests. I could put the following items in jars; jelly beans, marshmallows, conversation hearts, gummi worms, macaroni noodles, or cotton balls. But, there is a problem: I just don’t want to count the items.

Ok, that’s a lie. I guess I am in estimation denial. I don’t want to teach something I just suck at. But, at the same time, my kids will move on to fifth grade and will never know how to guess how many items are in a jar.

I think it would be fun to have an estimation contest that would be absolutely hard to win…There would just be a guess….no counting the sides and multiplying by whatever….just a damn guess. And to do that, I would use-

marshmallow peeps. Oh, I would shove them in a jar so their little suffocated faces would be smooshed up against the glass. Yeah, now guess how many peeps are in the jar. It would be an honest guessing game. Or would it? The person who guessed ten would still be laughed at if there were fifty smooshy peeps in the jar. I just can’t put any child through the horrors of being labeled “estimate challenged.”

Or, you know, maybe I’m just lazy.

All of them

Happy Badger/Groundhog/Hedgehog Day!

Several men dressed like Abe Lincoln will gather on a knoll tomorrow morning, proclamation in hand, and will proceed to yank a fat squirrel out of its heated den. Crowds who have gathered on this cold cold February morning will wait with bated or alcoholic breath, whichever comes first. Will Phil see his shadow?  We must know.

Another Groundhog Day, another prediction. Will we have another six weeks of winter or will spring be right around the corner?  According to Wikipedia, ” if it is cloudy when a groundhog emerges from its burrow on this day, then spring will come early; if it is sunny, the groundhog will supposedly see its shadow and retreat back into its burrow, and the winter weather will continue for six more weeks”.   The Weather Channel is already telling us we are going to have six weeks of winter. So, why all the brouhaha over a sleepy chubby squirrel?

Ok, a groundhog is not a fat squirrel. I apologize. A groundhog is a member of the squirrel family, but much larger than the ones I see eating out of the bird feeder.  Putting that aside, I’d still like to know how  the people in a small Pennsylvania town decided years ago they have a weather prognostigator?

“Hey, look at that groundhog! I can see his shadow. Do you think that means something?” I mean, how did this weird ritual start?

And it is weird. Think about it. People drive from miles around to gather in the cold to watch the town leaders grab a sleeping groundhog from its luxury living quarters, hold it up, and then proclaim to the masses if there will be six more weeks of winter. The crowd will clap and yell “hoorah” or moan and go home…or back to the bar. When did we start believing a groundhog? Why not a raccoon? They are smart enough to take the lid off of a garbage can. Surely they too, can predict the weather?

Ok, I know we don’t really believe a groundhog, but how did the people of Pennsylvania believe in it enough over the years to create such a tribute to weather forecasting? I just had to know.

I have written several times about the little varmint  Ground Beaver Day   Groundhog Day  Groundhog Day and a Haiku or Two in the past, but really never took a look at how this event started. I actually have this on my bucket list. Sure, why not drive up there one year just to say I did it?

English: Welcome to Goolers Knob – Groundhog Day 2005. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, it looks like Groundhog day  began as a German custom in the 18th century in this country. When German settlers arrived in the 1700s, they brought a custom known as Candlemas Day.  Supposedly, a custom in ancient European weather lore used a badger or a hedgehog as the prognosticator.  Seeing  there aren’t too many badgers or hedgehogs in Pennsylvania, I guess the groundhog was the next best thing. It has been celebrated in Punxsutawney since 1886 or so. In Europe, it was the tradition on Candlemas Day for the church official to bless candles and hand them out to the people in the middle point of winter.It also has something to do with Mary and Jesus, but I didn’t want to go in that direction, so I ignored the religious meanings of the day. So, If the sun came out February 2, the mid point of the season, it meant six more weeks of winter. Tomorrow will be Punxsutawney Phil’s 127th prognostication.

Shouldn’t he be dead?

So, when you turn on the Weather Channel in the morning, you will undoubtedly witness the faux Abe Lincolns pulling a fat squirrel out of a den on Gobblers Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. It’s a big deal. And maybe the ground hog will be alive, celebrating its 127th year of forecasting or maybe he is an imposter for the real Phil, who no longer sees his shadow. Regardless, it is a tradition in our country that is here to stay. In fact, there are many “Phil’s” in different parts of the country. Afterall, the weather in Florida is different than Pennsylvania. It is known as “The Sunshine State.” Of course Phil would see his shadow down there. And that surely wouldn’t mean six more weeks of winter in Florida. That means, “Hey, I saw my shadow because I am in freaking sunny Florida.”

Here are some of the other “Phil’s” that will be called upon this February 2:

French Creek Freddie – My home state of West Virginia.

 A pissed off French Creek Freddie

North Carolina has five prognosticating groundhogs- Grady, Nibbles, Queen Charlotte, Sir Walter Wally, and Mortimer. ( I fancy the Sir Walter Wally moniker)

Tennessee- Chattanooga Chuck

Georgia- General Beauregard Lee

Canada- Wiarton Willy

New York- Staten Island Chuck

Ohio- Buckeye Chuck

I could go on and on. There are many famous fat squirrels that will be pulled out of their dens tomorrow.

Happy Groundhog Day! (Whatever the hell that means)

Smokey and the Car Wash

I was sitting at our local lazer wash the other day thinking back to the first time I ever went to an automatic car wash. I grew up in Weirton, West Virginia, and the new “automatic” car wash had just opened “up on the hill” near our home. I can’t remember what kind of car we had back then, but the whole family jumped in when my dad told us a car wash opened where you sit in the car while it is being washed. What??? No taking a bucket of water, soap, and a garden hose out into the driveway anymore? Well, not that I really helped wash our cars in the first place. I was and still am, a “non-finisher.” I just really can’t finish anything all the way through. Same for washing the car. I would get one side done and then spray the other side with the hose to knock some dust off and call it a day. You could never see that side from our picture window, so it looked like I did a great job.

When we pulled up to the new car wash, we had to wait in a line because, as all things new, people wanted to experience this new-fangled way to wash a car. It was the 60′s, after all, and inventions were just waiting to be invented. When it was our turn, a guy motioned for us to move up a bit. We then had to put the car in neutral. They guy then took some gigantic hook and put it somewhere in the front of the car.

“Will that pull off the bumper?” I thought that was a pertinent question.

The guy told my dad to make sure all of the windows were rolled up. We were ready. There was a little jerk and our car was on some track through a little building with these scrubber things on the sides. The noise was loud and the water was really hitting the windshield and roof of the car. To be perfectly honest, it was a bit scary. Those brushes were right up against our windows and then one roll up over the car and down the windshield.  Hey, this was fun….but not really.

After we were done, there were two teen-age boys who wiped our car with dry cloths. My mom had to interject her authority of being Queen of Weirton.

“Make sure you dry the car good….and there better not be any spots of dirt anywhere.”

Oh, but there was. When we pulled into the driveway, she had my dad not park the car in the garage. She wanted to inspect the job the new automatic car wash did on our family vehicle.

“Well, we won’t be going there again.”  I remember there were seven places that were missed. I smile at this because I can’t remember what I did fifteen minutes ago, but I can remember my mom ranting about SEVEN missed places on the car after visiting the new automatic car wash “up on the hill.” She loved to find something to bitch about. My dad was probably relieved that he wasn’t at the end of this particular rant. I remember thinking he was going to like this new car wash. Anything she disagreed about, my dad was then quietly all about.

So, one day I was sitting, watching tv, with our dog Smokey, on our lap. It was a hot summer day and my dad must not have wanted to wash the car by hand. I mean, who would want to, now that we basically had a robot to do it for us?  He asked me if I wanted to take a ride with him to the car wash.

Since Smokey was already sitting on my lap, I just picked her up and carried her a la Paris Hilton with her prized chihuahua to the car. Smokey often rode in the car. As all chihuahuas, Smokey was a yapper. Yap, yap, yap. But, who knew what was about to transpire.

Well, Smokey went ape shit. The noise first scared her and she buried herself beside my hip. We were yanked ahead on the conveyor belt. When the brushes hit against the car, that’s when Smokey defended her territory and her family. She ran over to the window and bared her teeth and growled and barked like she was ready to take on the brushes. She ran back and forth, over my dad and over me to each window. She was going to save us from this barrage of red and yellow bristles attacking us.

Rotating brushes inside a conveyor car-wash. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I should have counted how many times she ran back and forth. My dad also found it amusing. Smokey the chihuahua was fighting with the brushes at the automatic car wash.

When we got home, Smokey was exhausted and fell fast asleep on my dad’s lap.

The next few times we went to the car wash, we took Smokey along for our pleasure. It seems so cruel now to put the little yapper through this sort of animal abuse, but you have to understand I never once thought I was being abusive. I just thought it was really really funny.

And each time we got home, my mom would disappear downstairs for a few minutes. We knew she was heading for the garage.

“Four missed places this time.”

All Aboard the Rocky Mountaineer

English: The Rocky Mountaineer boards at Banff. Image by User:Leonard G. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I was little I traveled on Amtrak from Pittsburgh to Spokane Washington with my mom, brother and sister. It took three days and three nights and I fell in love with train travel from that point on. I never traveled by train again until last summer when I thought I would take a different mode of transportation to visit my daughter in New York City. I think I smiled all the way into the Big Apple. There is something about the clickety clack of the train as it travels over the countryside and the whistle blowing at interections that I just really enjoy.

For years I have said my “trip of a lifetime” would be to travel through Canada by train to Victoria and Vancouver, supposedly some of the most beautiful cities on the planet. I know others would probably choose a more exotic location if they were choosing “a trip of a lifetime,” but mine is Canada by train.

Well, I just booked a trip for this summer aboard the Rocky Mountaineer through the Canadian Rockies. This is a trip I have had on my so-called bucket list for several years now. I haven’t been able to go because of my poor old cat, Whiskers. She passed away in October, so it looks like I will have some free time to take a trip longer than three nights.

I am beside myself with excitement. I decided not to travel all the way from Halifax to Vancouver just yet. I mean, I watched the episode of Sex and the City where Samantha and Carrie traveled to San Francisco by train. They were miserable. But, then again, I don’t think they left New York City too often, and I have to realize they weren’t really real people, so I need to erase that visual out of my mind.

I looked at routes and found this Rocky Mountaineer train. Hmmmmmm, this is right up my alley. I can’t get this song out of my head.

Rocky Mountaineer is a privately owned company. They offer three classes of service; Red Leaf, Silver Leaf, and Gold Leaf. The Gold Leaf offers perks for someone who is taking “a trip of a lifetime.” I want to travel in a glass enclosed train car and walk down a spiral staircase for a gourmet breakfast and lunch.

I want complimentary drinks even though I don’t drink…much. So, I booked the Gold Leaf, which also gave me deluxe accommodations in the hotels.

Hotels, you say? Yes. Depending upon the route you take, you can stay overnight on the way to your destination. I was overwhelmed with the choices and routes. The packages are called things like “Circle Rail,” “First Passage to the West,” and “Journey Through the Clouds,” just to name a few. I had to mull over where I wanted to start and where I wanted to end.

 Photo credit: Fresh Tracks

I decided to fly from Pittsburgh to Vancouver, and then travel on their “First Passage to the West” in reverse and fly out of Calgary. Six delirious nights. And it isn’t just train travel. There are things to do when you get off the train if you wish. And I wish. So, this is my itinerary. I liked what Rocky Mountaineer offered in their package design especially for what I would like to do on this trip, but in the end I decided to go with a travel agency called Fresh Tracks/Canadian Train Vacations. The only main difference between the two companies was Fresh Tracks was going to have someone waiting for me at the Vancouver Airport for the drive to my hotel. The cost was about the same for both and I loved working with both companies.

I booked “The Essential Rockies” with Fresh Tracks. My custom built itinerary looks something like this:

Day 1- Fly into Vancouver. I added a second night in Vancouver because I was afraid if my flight from Pittsburgh to Toronto to Vancouver was delayed or something, I would have another option to get to Vancouver before the train left the station. I plan to take a bus over to Stanley Park, which is the third largest city park in North America. It looks beautiful. I will be staying at Sutton Place. The reservationist on the phone told me that there are a lot of movies filmed in the Vancouver area and a lot of celebrities and crew stay at the Sutton. That would be cool to ride an elevator with someone famous.

Day 2- Discover Vancouver and Grouse Mountain Sunset Tour- I will be traveling by trolley to the base of Grouse Mountain, where I will take the largest gondola in North America to the top of the mountain. Much to do on top of the mountain.

Day 3- Ahhhh My Rocky Mountaineer adventure begins. I will be picked up and transferred to the train station where the fun begins. They have an open vestibule on the back of each car where I plan to be for a good bit of the time, pretending to be a photographer. The pictures I have seen of the Canadian Rockies are majestic, and I can not wait to experience it behind my own camera lens. First night stay in Kamloops.

Day 4- My adventure continues as we travel to Banff. This is supposed to be the most magnificient part of any train route through the Rockies. We will  pull into Banff in the evening and I will be transferred to my hotel, The RimRock for two nights.

Day 5- I added this part to my itinerary. Day 5 was supposed to be a free day to visit and walk through the town of Banff. And I want to do that, but I also wanted to travel to the Athabasca Glacier and drive onto the glacier in a special Ice Explorer. It’s a nine hour tour. I will be picked up at my hotel and with a small tour, stop at sights along the way for general sightseeing there and back. It will be interesting to stand on a glacier. I don’t get to do that too often in West Virginia.

Day 6 Leave Banff and meander through the Rockies with a private guide stopping along more majestic picture taking opportunities. We will then end up at Lake Louise. I can not wait to stay  there. Lake view.  I will have to take a canoe ride.

Day 7: Alas, my adventure will end today at the end of the month of June. I hope for clear, sunny days, and fault-free trip itineraries. I will keep you posted. My driver will take me to the Calgary airport for my flight for home.  I guess I should have mentioned that I am doing this by myself. A couple of people told me it wouldn’t be any fun by myself. Hmmmm. I think I’m a lot of fun. Add Canada and a train to the mix and the fact that I don’t know a stranger, I think I will be just fine. I mean, I did a test run and flew to Disney World by myself last year. If I can do a solo trip there and not feel lonely, I think I’m good to go.

 photo credit: Banff National Park